The first step into a new start is to realize you need to CHANGE. It doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. It just means that you reach that point where it becomes crystal clear that, to go on differently, you need to adopt a different way.

After the shock of the diagnosis, it hits me quite fast: this diffused numbness, that my body is expressing, is the numbness I have been feeling inside for a while. I have been so used to suppressing any emotion felt within, that I’m not even able to identify them anymore. I am numb indeed.

The second realization that follows, is that the same way the »problem« has come from within, or in other words, from the way I have lost touch with my deeper self, the answers are to be found there as well – within. I need to find the way back to myself and to who I am.

A friend of mine has me recommended a healer who does energy massages. I am already open to this approach but haven’t been in contact with it for a long time. After the first session, it immediately feels like somebody has taken off my shoulders hundreds of kilos I have been carrying around unconsciously. A sense of newfound lightness I will never forget. A new door opens itself to me: the door to transformation.

»Trans – formation« as in: changing the form by changing the essence, from the »inside out«.

March 2014. I am pregnant with my long-desired third child. I am gonna give birth again, this time also to a new me.